I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
