no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
