im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
