Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
