Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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