I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
