his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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