Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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