CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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