Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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