I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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