all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
