idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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