you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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