theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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