About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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