The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
