Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
