Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
