I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
be right there i have to get my cape
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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