ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
