And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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