Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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