I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We got so high we made milksteak
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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