Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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