The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Even my vagina gasped.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
