Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
