This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
