3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
