You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
