when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
