She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
