I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize