We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
