I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
