ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
40s are totally the cure
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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