I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
