I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
