Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
