she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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