His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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