im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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