Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
