I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if only i could text you this smell
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
