I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So vagazzling was a success
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
