You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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