Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
