My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
