evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
