idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
