if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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