so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
