Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
