nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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