he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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