I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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