Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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