hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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