I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
