So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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