I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize