If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
