I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize